Archives for category: Feelin' Geeky

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I’ve mentioned before that when Vincent turned me into a cartoon character and made a comic strip out of our life it was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me…

Well, I’m just writing this to invite you all over to the Geeks’ newly redecorated space. Same address, but with a nice facelift. Vincent explains his handiwork and why he finally decided to change the site. Let him know what you think!

I’m glad for the change. I found our old décor rather cold and I get bored easily. Our new surroundings are much cozier. I am hugely bored with the look of frogblog, but I don’t have Vincent’s skill (in terms of either design or programming), nor do I have the time right now to deal with it. One of these days, maybe…

I went to Vegas once with a geeky couple who brought walkie talkies so that both halves of our two-couple party could find each other when we wanted to regroup. (It was before cell phones.) So every time I was somewhere quiet enough to hear the walkie talkie, the hotel janitors were on the same frequency we were using, talking about pool filters and where Manuel was and who had the keys.

Twitter is the online equivalent of having a walkie talkie turned on all the time with however many twits you’re following all talking at the same time about where Manuel is and other such pithy topics… The inanity is mind numbing.

Now, at some point, we have all had a friend who is clearly in a downward spiral. Maybe it’s addiction, maybe it’s depression… Maybe it’s obsessive-compulsive use of Twitter.

What do you do in cases like these? How do you broach the subject in a way that will not be met with defensiveness, hurt, or anger?

I think most people just ignore the problem, in order to avoid getting one of those reactions, and hope somebody else will deal with it, or that the person in question will just snap out of it. I haven’t yet decided what I’m going to do. I’m American. We’re big enablers and, so far, that’s all I’ve been doing.

I can see how OCT (obsessive-compulsive tweeting) could be a symptom of bigger issues; an escape from pain and loneliness, for one. Twitter is a tool that could make a person feel is if he were communicating, contributing, and as if others were listening, as if they cared. He could tweet things that might make him feel important, or even just that his life had meaning. This self-imposed, pressing obligation to share important information could allow him to rationalize his neglect of his own problems. Or even to feel good because of the personal sacrifice he is making in putting his own needs second…

But tweeting is not real communication. It’s like drinking diet soda. There’s that sweet taste, but without the sugar. The brain is fooled, the body is not nourished. I’m afraid a lot of brains are being fooled with some of the toys that are out there.

An illusion of substance.

I readily admit that if you’re being bombed in Gaza, or arrested in Egypt, and have the ability and presence of mind to tweet it from your cell phone, Twitter can be an important tool, even a life-saving one. If you need information urgently, and can tweet a question to the wind and have the good fortune to get a useful answer, then it’s served a purpose.

But there is only one life I would want the blow-by-blow details of. I would be overjoyed to read “Eating tofu hot dogs for dinner and watching The Matrix again” from my 23-year-old son. Then I could picture him in his own apartment, all grown-up, existing. But then, of course, I wouldn’t want to read the “Just did my 8th shot of tequila” tweet… But he doesn’t do Twitter, so it’s not an issue.

Unfortunately, if you follow people who are of professional, but not personal interest, you still get to find out what they’re having for dinner, when their mothers are probably the only people on the planet who would give a rat’s ass.

Ironically, perhaps, I gave a talk on social media, an introduction for beginners, at the American Library in Paris the other day. My whole spiel was about how great and fun and enriching an online life, with the help of social media, can be, and I sincerely believe that.

My audience challenged me on several counts. I was asked how I found the time for all these things, asked if I felt I had control of my life, or if they were controlling me. Things like that. I had no trouble answering. It’s all a question of moderation, and knowing to use the tools that serve a purpose (practical or impractical) in your life, to use them in a way that does not make them more disruptive than not, to use them only as part of a balanced diet of real, meaningful, life.

Another audience member told me not to give up on Twitter yet (because I said I hated it). I won’t. I’ll keep my account because I have to, for my work. And because I’m curious (about the phenomenon, not that somebody had two cavities). And I like to watch society change before my very eyes.

Although with Twitter, it’s more like watching society change its underwear before your eyes…

As for my friend with the problem, I think the best thing I can do is stop enabling him. I’m going to have to do the tough love thing and unfollow him. Wish me luck.

Do you have a Twitter problem?

I got an e-mail from my sister-in-law, one of those that had been forwarded multiple times by people who haven’t yet figured out how to use the BCC field. I had to click down into it to get to the original message, which was in 72-point lime green Comic Sans, with hard returns in the oddest places, like so many of these things… But because it was from my sister-in-law, who always sends good stuff, and because the subject line was “Free food for homeless animals,” I bothered.

I was really glad I did. The very perky message promised it would only take me 20 seconds and one click of a purple button to help feed shelter animals. So I conjured up some kibble with a click:

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I then decided to dig a little deeper and share what I found, since the e-mail also asked recipients to forward it to 10 friends. But I opted for this, a sans Comic Sans alternative.

It’s a fundraising site for six very worthy causes, but you don’t actually have to spend any money to help. Click once on the special button at the top of each organizations’ page, and their sponsors will increase their donations.

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I went to the other sites (all in a row of tabs at the top of the page) and pushed their buttons too. I helped protect 11.4 square feet of rainforest, helped a needy woman get a free mammogram, helped a kid get medical care, got 1.1 cups of food for someone, and helped someone else learn to read. Magic!

There are other free ways to help: e-cards, signing up for their newsletters, linking to them from your blog, and more. Each site also has its own online store where you can get logo items and also buy free trade products. I fell in love with the Global Girlfriend brand “Pondichery jacquard embroidered tote” on the Animal Rescue Site, and the purple paw logo items were cute as can be. Needless to say, part of the profits go to support the organizations. So next time you need to find a gift, avoid the conventional corporate route and head over to this site. Also in the left column, where are all the products are listed, look for the “Gifts that give more” link (not on every site), which allows you to donate money directly for various things.

You’re allowed one click a day on each button, and they’ve kindly set up an e-mail reminder service if you need help remembering or getting motivated to stop by and click!

Please help spread the word! And thanks Cindy! :-*

True story. I stood on a street corner in Waikiki, 18, wearing a tiny white tank top with a sparkly star on it and tiny denim cutoffs, asking tourist men if I could have a quarter to call my mom. I only asked the ones who were with women (didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea). The women all scowled. But I got $16 in quarters in a couple of hours, and then my angel-faced, long-blond-haired boyfriend and I went to a nearby hotel.

To play Space Invaders in the lobby.

There was a very old man sitting there, on a couch not far from us, watching as we played. I looked over at him, smiled and said hi at one point, and he asked what we were doing. I explained and convinced him to give it a try. So he came over and played a few games on the tourists’ quarters. Younger people, his kids I guessed, showed up to collect him, eventually, and looked rather concerned that he was fraternizing with street urchins. As he stood, he took a wad of 20s out of his wallet and held it out to me. I said no, but he insisted. Just because he was so grateful that we’d acknowledged and included him. Because we’d treated him like a person and not an old person.

I liked playing Pong with my dad when I was a kid. But I was pretty much over video games by the time Space Invaders went out of style. For the most part, I despise them.

My poor son Trevor will attest to the fact that I wouldn’t allow them in the house when he was growing up (except for a GameBoy, which we often deprived him of out of spiteful parental revenge for misbehavior and stuff.) We limited TV time too, for that matter. He is scarred, I’m sure, because all of his friends were allowed to have video games.

I just wanted him to be a reader and a thinker and I was convinced video games (and TV) did not foster, and probably even hindered that kind of mental development. It was my call. Now 23, Trevor plays WoW and others regularly, and that’s fine with me, because he is also a reader and a thinker. And he writes damn well too.

(Imagine my shock and dismay when I moved in here and found that Vincent’s ex-wife had just bought their 12-year-old son San Andreas to play on his brand new laptop. Over-compensation issues and total cluelessness? Clearly. But not my call.)

So when Vincent was out of ideas for his kids’ Christmas presents this year (at 15 and almost 13, they’re at a hard age to buy for), he thought he’d get them a Wii.

Video-game Scrooge that I am, I said, “Fine, whatever, I have earplugs.”

So the day comes, the kids are thrilled. And so was I. The Wii is fun. Yes, you can play the same dull games on it (where little people or monkeys or whatever run and fly and jump and dodge things and go through things and shoot things and bump into other things for points) that you can play on other consoles. Those bore me to tears. And they make me hostile. Really.

But the little sports games that come with the Wii are a total blast. Bowling, tennis, baseball. There’s boxing too, which doesn’t do anything for me. In general, it’s wholesome family entertainment. For young and old alike. And so on. I actually told my brother, a fairly regular gamer who surprisingly doesn’t have one yet, that he should get one and that I thought even his wife (like me, not a big fan) would enjoy it. Never thought I’d see the day.

What hooks you right away is the Miis, little characters you create in your own image that then play the games. (Very crafty, Nintendo.) And since we have a resident geek artist, Vincent made all of our Miis and did a marvelous job of it. I asked him to make me a Trevor so I can play tennis and go bowling with him even though he’s a million miles away in California. Vincent boxed with his daughter, at her request, but when his Mii KO’d her Mii he felt like a horrible father. (He was so guilt-ridden and contrite. It was adorable.)

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Vincent gets beside himself with excitement watching my little Mii playing tennis in a green miniskirt. It is flattering on some twisted level… And I find his little Mii irresistible too. I wish we could make keychains out of them! And t-shirts! And coffee mugs! (There’s that all-American merchandising instinct.)

It’s a French Wii, of course. (So those buttons don’t say the English word “quitter.” It’s the French word for “quit.”) The only problem is, now I want the Madden NFL game. Vincent got his son a soccer game that is really cool. But the Wii games made for American Wiis don’t work on French Wiis, and I’m not sure they’ve made an NFL game for this market. Not a lot of American football fans among the Frogs.

When you play the baseball game, the Wii automatically puts the Miis you’ve made (along with other random characters) on the teams. So I get to see Trevor come up to bat. I’m kind of tempted to make Miis for other people I miss. Like my dad, who left the building 10 years ago. Mom, brother, sister-in-law, nephew. Buddies back home… Maybe I’d enjoy the boxing game if I made an ex-husband Mii…

Nah. Wouldn’t want him around. And Vincent probably wouldn’t go for it anyway.

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At dinner the other night, we were talking about e-mail spam, and my 15-year-old French stepson asked about the origin of “spam.” He is heavily into etymology, which I relate to totally.

I told him what I knew about it being a staple in WWII and said that the only place in the US where it still gets any respect (that I know of) today is, oddly enough, Hawaii, where they make musubi (sushi rice molded into shapes) with a little slab of SPAM on top and wrap it with nori. They sell ‘em in 7/11 stores the way they do hot dogs on the mainland. In Hawaii, you can get SPAM in restaurants with your scrambled eggs and stuff too. How do I know this? I lived there from the age of 15 to 20, and it hadn’t changed when I went back for a vacation three years ago.

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It actually looks pretty tasty, doesn’t it? It is. But I didn’t have any when I was there last. I haven’t eaten red meat in 26 years.

(When I was a kid, though, my mom used to send us to school with sandwiches made with SPAM spread. Sounds disgusting now, but I loved the stuff.)

While poking around for pictures for this post, I found this article full of SPAM historical trivia on the Hormel website. SPAM also has its own website, which is worth a visit to for its monumental kitsch value alone.

Not surprisingly, there’s a SPAM merchandise site too. (This is America we’re talking about.) In fact, I am sorely tempted to get myself a SPAM t-shirt—because I’m a bit of a geekette, because it is one of the icons I grew up with and I’m slightly homesick at the moment, and because one of Vincent’s pet names for me is Spammy. One of his all-time favorite Monty Python skits is the SPAM skit, which he walks around reciting from time to time. (It’s very cute.)

Hormel undoubtedly owes a massive chunk of its SPAM merchandising revenues to the other kind of spam. I mean, I wouldn’t want a SPAM t-shirt if it weren’t for—spam. Wouldn’t it be nice if they forked over some of the buckage to help develop anti-spam technologies? Even though they didn’t ask for the notoriety, they’re still benefiting from the phenomenon…

I just wonder how many more times in my life I’ll have to read the words Vi*gra and h*rse sex? This kind of junk uses up valuable nanoseconds, and they add up…

So why am I going on about this subject today? I intended just to write a quick note to let you all know that I’ve had to install an aggressive comment spam blocker on this blog that doesn’t even show me the comments it flags as spam, which means that it’s entirely possible that a legitimate comment of yours might not get through. I allow all real comments through, even the mean ones, as long as they’re rational, so please don’t be offended if your comment doesn’t appear. And do let me know if that happens because, if it’s a problem, I will have to look for an alternative.

The reason I had to install this spam blocker is—this is how I understood Vincent’s explanation—the sites living on the free.fr servers are no longer allowed to talk to Akismet, Wordpress’s excellent spam blocker, because some assholes were abusing Port 80, and so everybody suffers. I didn’t understand the details. I’m not that much of a geekette! Vincent can tell you more.

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After the great victory, Vincent and I were talking about Obama’s various proposals, what he’d realistically be able to do, what the priorities should be… The usual. I then made the mistake of saying that I couldn’t wait to find out about what kind of dog the First Girlies would be getting.

This prompted major eye-rolling on Vincent’s part. He’s always saying we Americans care more about our pets than we do about people. Maybe. I told him that the First Pet is important to Americans. I never really thought about why, though. Maybe it’s that having a pet humanizes the president, which is obviously something Americans need more than the French, who seem to prefer that their leaders remain securely atop pedestals ensconced within ivory towers. (One reason why they have such a problem with Ségolène Royal if you ask me. She’s too real for them. But we think she rocks.)

Of course, then there was Obama’s press conference, during which we got a hint. Vincent was baffled by the whole hypoallergenic dog thing, never having heard of such a concept, not surprisingly. (The French are just not as clinical about things as we are.) He expressed his bafflement, and I said poodles were considered hypoallergenic because they didn’t shed, but that I didn’t know of any other breeds that were.

It appears the French are also curious about the dog, although some of the snooty intellectuals are ridiculing this plebeian obsession with the next Dog of the Free World.

I am a dog person. Cats are immensely cool, and I’d get a kick out of having one (except that they walk on your kitchen counters, and I have an all-American hygiene issue). I love the lolcats. But I am not a cat person.

I grew up with dogs. Poodles, to be precise (my poodle history). I had a beautiful (rescued) redbone coonhound the last few years I was married, but I lost him in my divorce. Broke my heart, but my escape entailed serious residential downsizing and Virgil had to stay where he would have a yard. He was a big boy (80 pounds of pure love).

Since then, I’ve had to get my dog fix in other ways. When I became single, I moved a block away from Dog Beach in San Diego, so I could surround myself with other people’s dogs and revel in their surf-and-frisbee frenzy. There’s a dog in the novel I’m writing. Sassy used to post regular Yuki news, but she has major stuff going on, so I have to do without for now. However, my pal La Belette Rouge is on the verge of becoming a dog mom it seems. I’m looking forward to that.

Paris is crawling with Yorkies, Jack Russells and Bichons. Those seem to be the hot breeds of the bourgeois. Designer dogs to go with their designer clothes. I can walk to pet-store row (over by the Louvre) in 10 minutes, and I do, every now and then for a dose of dog. But it can be depressing too. (There I go again.) I would never buy a dog from a breeder or pet store. (Bumper sticker brainwashing: Don’t breed or buy while shelter dogs die.)

According to the Humane Society, six to eight million dogs enter shelters each year in the US and about half of them are gassed.

Not acceptable.

A few months ago, I started seriously thinking about getting a dog and cruising the shelter pages here in Paris. They don’t make it easy for you to adopt dogs here. Shelters are far outside of the city and since I, like most Parisians, don’t have a car, that limits my options. But I’ll find a way when the time comes. I’ve browsed craigslist and kijiji a few times in search of dogs, but it’s incredibly time consuming and a major pain in the ass.

There are so many ways to keep dogs from being disposed of like used Kleenex if you can’t adopt one yourself. You can make contributions to your local shelter, or volunteer. You could buy a sexy calendar from Pinups for Pups

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Miss September, Angela Ryan, and Ella—who was rescued.

Recently, there was a geek contest called Rails Rumble 2008, which is a challenge for developers to create an application using Ruby on Rails in 48 hours. One of the resulting applications from this year’s Rumble is called Forever Home. I think it’s brilliant. Incredibly clean, simple and attractive user interface. And for a good cause.

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I went to the site and entered my old zip code in San Diego (it only works for the US and Canada at the moment) and there were 79 pages of dogs that need homes (it only works for dogs right now too). If you’re looking for a dog, that’s exciting. (But when I think that many, if not most of these people impulsively and frivolously got dogs to begin with, it really pisses me off.)

Our dear Polly of Polly-Vous Français ? is leaving Paris for a time. (She’ll be back, I’m certain of it.) But for now, she has to find a home for Lou-Lou, her goldfish. If only Lou-Lou were a dog… Polly has some fabulous stuff she needs to unload, so if you live in Paris, take a look at this site and help Polly purge. Don’t wait! She’s leaving this month!

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What a night.

Yes Obama won. Yes we spent most of the night in a Parisian palace, where there was an endless supply of champagne (though we didn’t have any till nearly dawn). And yes, we were on live TV, billed as “the Geeks in Love, a Franco-American blogging couple.”

senat1.jpg All of that would have been magical enough. But I must say that the most extraordinary thing about this night for me was that I got to spend it with my son in California.

(Outside the Sénat at 2:00 am. More behind-the-scenes pictures.)

Caroline, the host of Parlons blogs ! told us we’d be popping in every hour on the hour for a few minutes. She asked us to touch on the role of the Internet in the election and to give our take on what was happening across the pond. Vincent had the special assignment of doing some live Geeks In Love drawings during the course of the show.

So for five hours, we had a bunch of sites on our screens and several Twitter feeds up so we could track the buzz from all over the world. I had all my IM programs open (four of them) and exchanged occasional comments with friends, family (including Vincent’s mother and step-dad, who were watching us on the Web) and total strangers, while history happened.

We got there at 2:00 am and the show started at 3:00. In the brief opening segment, we were just introduced and had to smile nice for the camera, no talking. Then we had 50 minutes to kill.

A few minutes later, a chat window popped up with a “Bonjour momma!

My boy. I had e-mailed him the day before and asked him to open his IM program if he was around so we could talk during the show.

natca2.jpgI sent him the link to the live feed so he could watch. I asked him about his voting experience. He told me he was wearing his NATCA t-shirt (the National Air Traffic Controllers Association, the union he recently joined, which endorsed Obama). He took it off and sent me this picture while we were talking.

We talked about the results as they came in, about the girl he’d met at a party a couple Fridays ago, he said Melissa and Jordain (high-school pals) said “Hi” (obviously chatting with them too). He’d told his co-workers his mom was going to be on TV in France and they didn’t really believe him. He got the video feed up. “The blond girl’s cute,” he said. “She’s right in front of me!” I responded. I told him when we’d be on next . He watched. His comment: “Vincent looks as unshaven and laid back as usual.” Yep.

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And it was like that, as natural as can be, hanging out and shooting the breeze virtually with my millennial son, thousands of miles away.

It was he who told me that McCain was conceding, so I flipped to the screen with the news. We watched that together. Not long afterwards, Obama started talking. We watched that together, I with tears in my eyes. Vincent took a picture…

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After McCain conceded, Caroline told us we had to have champagne to celebrate. We complied, willingly. We had only one more spot to do at that point, even though it turned out to be an hour late because of the speeches. (That just meant more time for champagne…)

After Obama’s speech, my son and I talked some more. He was moved. He told me he could hear fireworks and car horns honking outside, he said he had felt a weight fall from his shoulders, that he didn’t think he could yet grasp how truly big this moment was. He was feeling hope, he was seeing history. I was there with him and he was with me.

A few minutes later, Natacha Quester-Séméon (whom I think of as the Web Fairy of Paris) and her brother Sacha interviewed me for their news site MemoireVive.tv. Of course, I talked about how happy I was to be sharing the experience with my son over the Internet. Natacha and Sacha, being millennials themselves, totally got the beauty of the thing.

When we’d done our last spot, a little after 10:00 pm my son’s time, he said he had to go to bed. I was surprised because it was so early. “I have to control airplanes in the morning,” he said.

I’m so proud.

Once the show was over, once I’d said goodnight to my son, Vincent and I walked arm-in-arm and mostly silent through the rainy dawn of a new day to the métro station.

Like I said. What a night.