In college, my classmates and I went drinking with our Russian profs a few times. I’ve never seen anybody who could put it away like those guys. One time, the waitress couldn’t keep up with them fast enough, so after the first two rounds they just told her to bring as many vodka shots as her tray would hold. That was a sight. There were three profs there that day…
So the new president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy, has been making the rounds, doing his head-of-state meets head-of-state thing. The other day he got to have a little tête à tête with Vladimir Putin during the G8 Summit. Now, although Sarko likes the good life—fine dining, lounging about on yacht decks, etc.—he appears to be a bit of a health nut. About half the time you see him on TV he’s jogging. He’s also reputed to be a teetotaller.
But what does an abstemious president do when meeting with the president of Russia, whose inhabitants are known to have a penchant for sucking down the potato juice? Well, he’s constrained to conform to the protocols of politeness and, if he’s Nicolas Sarkozy, he gets plowed. And then he does a press conference. Plowed. Giggling. Weaving. Slurring. Incapable of focusing his eyes. Here’s the video. It’s hilarious. You don’t have to speak French to appreciate it. He’s speaking the other universal language.
Would you really want your president doing shots with Putin? Who knows what happened behind those closed doors?
[Read with Pavel Chekov accent]. “I hev proposition for you Kolya.. Do you know, Kolya, this iz short name for Nikolai, affectionate name, my friend… You are very good friend, yes? I think, European Union, it hev too many country. For union iz only need two country: Russia and France. My proposition it iz, we will make new European Union, you and I, my friend. We, how you say, absorb other European country. Then we show this George Bush and China. Iz good idea, yes? Za zdorovye.”
In Russia, the most popular brand of vodka is called Putinka, which looks an awful lot like a diminutive form of the president’s name. And what is Putinka’s ad slogan? All roads are open…