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Do you have a position on polar bears? The Bush administration does, and it happens to be “head buried in deep sand.”

Evidently, word has come down from on high that any scientists attending conferences are prohibited from discussing climate change, sea ice, and polar bears when they’re travelling on Uncle Sam’s dime…

Listed as a “new requirement” for foreign travelers on U.S. government business, the memo says that requests for foreign travel “involving or potentially involving climate change, sea ice, and/or polar bears” require special handling, including notice of who will be the official spokesman for the trip.

The Fish and Wildlife Service top officials need assurance that the spokesman, “the one responding to questions on these issues, particularly polar bears” understands the administration’s position on these topics.

Two accompanying memos were offered as examples of these kinds of assurance. Both included the line that the traveler “understands the administration’s position on climate change, polar bears, and sea ice and will not be speaking on or responding to these issues.” More…

I have a plan! It’s wacky, but that shouldn’t surprise you. Stay with me now:

Get hold of a stuffed or toy polar bear. Try buying one from some organization that will give part of the proceeds to protect wildlife, like this plush polar bear hand puppet from the Sierra Club online store, or maybe something from Polar Bears International. You could also try your local zoo gift shop, or rescue an orphaned polar bear from a thrift store.

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Put your bear in a baggie. Tape the opening closed. Poke a hole in the baggie with a pin so it won’t burst. If you’re worried about the seams, reinforce them with tape too. (Ziploc gives money to schools.)

Mail your polar bear to George Bush. Using the baggie as an envelope will ensure that everybody who handles it will see what’s inside. Be sure to enclose a note that says something like this:

Dear President Bush,

You must take immediate steps to address global warming. You can no longer ignore climate change, nor can you continue to deny that humans, particularly Americans, bear responsibility for the state of the environment today.

Polar bears are among thousands of species threatened by climate change. You owe it to our children and to the generations to come to take action now to assure the survival of these species.

As a symbol of your commitment to the planet our children will inherit, please do not throw this polar bear away. Give it to a child.

Don’t forget to place your note so that it can be read through the baggie and be sure to include your return address.

If you want to get fancy, send a bear wearing a shirt from your alma mater, your favorite football team’s jersey, a uniform, a tutu… Get creative and customize it. Basically do anything that could say a little something about who you are.

Nothing says non-violent protest like a stuffed animal.

You’re not melting yet? Check out this video of baby eisbär (ice bear!) Knut, the first polar bear born in the Berlin Zoo in over 30 years.

Polar bear orgs:

More goodies:

  • The Build-A Bear Workshop has donated over $1 million to the World Wildlife Fund selling its WWF Collictibear plush toys. They donate a minimum of $50,000 a year. More…
  • Read this hilarious article about one man’s experiment to test the patience of postal workers and the limits of the US Postal Service. Talk about pushing the envelope…
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