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Once about 10 years ago, I was talking to a friend in her backyard and smoking a cigarette. (Yeah, get over it.) Her nine-year-old came up to me and said “You shouldn’t smoke.” My response: “When I was a kid, kids didn’t tell grown-ups what to do.”

They do now.

Modern-day Max is no longer sent to his room without supper for being a brat. CPS would surely come knocking, for one thing. But Mom and Dad wouldn’t think of doing such a thing anyway. Max is no longer forced to tame imaginary wild things because he’s angry about being disciplined. He’s the wild thing, and Mom and Dad are utterly, pathetically tamed.

There’s been a societal shift in the US when it comes to childrearing. I’ve watched it unfold for years. It used to be only rich kids who had silver-spoon upbringings, but at some point not too long ago, the middle class seemed to unanimously and simultaneously decide that their kids needed to be treated like heirs to thrones and fortunes too.

Was it guilt that caused this shift? Maybe. Fear? You can’t leave kids to their own devices in this scary world. Competitiveness? You bet. And what happened to discipline? Maybe it felt wrong taking away toys or privileges in response to bad grades or behaviors. Or was there something in the water that turned parents into a bunch of pussies? We may never know.

As for the question of competitiveness, I sense that cars and houses and other material trappings of success are no longer adequate status symbols for Americans, and that the ultimate status symbol today is The Perfect Child. And they’re all all extraordinary, dontcha know. Nobody in the American middle class has an average kid anymore. Today, parents are compelled to produce children who score goals and do triple salchows and arabesques and speak French and run the student government. Super Stepford kids, every one of them. They warm the cockles of a mother’s (and father’s) ego.

I read a great in-depth article by Joseph Epstein called The Kindergarchy, in which he describes the phenomenon I’ve been observing and deploring for years:

In America we are currently living in a Kindergarchy, under rule by children. … Children have gone from background to foreground figures in domestic life, with more and more attention centered on them, their upbringing, their small accomplishments, their right relationship with parents and grandparents. For the past 30 years at least, we have been lavishing vast expense and anxiety on our children in ways that are unprecedented in American and in perhaps any other national life. Such has been the weight of all this concern about children that it has exercised a subtle but pervasive tyranny of its own. This is what I call Kindergarchy: dreary, boring, sadly misguided Kindergarchy.

Epstein, a university professor, touches on many examples I don’t discuss here, so I recommend the article highly.

It doesn’t end with kids being run through the specialness mill of extracurricular activities and lessons. Nowadays, a parent’s sole purpose in life appears to be acting as Entertainment Director on the voyage of childhood. My contemporaries have annual passes to the zoo and SeaWorld and Disneyland. They schedule play dates and ponies and fun jumps. Gawd forbid a child should experience a weekend or vacation day that is not filled to the brim with some edifying or stimulating activity and lots of Quality Time.

The saddest thing is that these kids are in for a real shock. They will get out into the real world and find that there is no audience waiting to applaud their every breath, no personal assistant to schedule all their activities and keep them entertained. No one to put their needs and whims and happiness before all else.

What will they do when faced with that void? Will they know how to earn the esteem of others that they’ll need so badly after having been raised on an IV of ego stroking all their lives? Will they know how to be alone with themselves, to spend time in their own heads, to tap into their own creativity, after having spent their childhoods having structured activities shoved down their throats like so many force-fed French geese? Poor things.

It’s also sad to see parents sacrificing themselves this way, to see them not taking time out of the glorious years of their 30s and 40s to engage in their own betterment and self-fulfillment. And at the same time, they’re teaching their kids, by example, that self-actualization is not OK, and thus depriving those kids of future happiness. And who is ultimately the better parent? One who continually explores his own human potential or one whose energy goes exclusively to scheduling and signups and meetings and dues?

The Stepfordization phenomenon isn’t as pronounced in France from what I’ve seen, although the bourgeois are just as concerned about status as Americans. And I had always heard that French parents were strict with kids. But what I’ve seen falls more in line with that old joke about why Jesus must have been Italian (because he lived at home till he was 30 and his mother thought he was God). Although French kids are made to work very hard for rewards in school, and individual achievement is not a raison d’être in this culture the way it is in America, the kids are pretty much waited on hand and foot at home.

When I was a kid, Disneyland and the zoo were once-a-year things. Events. The Wizard of Oz only came on TV once a year and I looked forward to it for months. I didn’t watch it 135 times in the back seat of my parents’ mega-vehicle. Kids of my generation had extraordinary things to to look forward to, to get really excited about. Today’s kids are so oversaturated with intense and continuous stimulation that they’re deprived of the pleasures of anticipation and delayed gratification. They’ll grow up completely incapable of enjoying small pleasures, expecting all of life to consist of peaks and completely at a loss when they find themselves in valleys. They will not recognize the sublime.

No matter the nature of their overindulgent parenting, I’m afraid this crop of parents will end up having produced a severely handicapped generation of ego-centric tyrants with an obscene sense of entitlement and self-importance.

In the end maybe it’ll be the poor kids who weren’t handed life on a silver platter who’ll be the leaders among this generation, while all these pampered brats stand around being indignant that nobody’s paying any attention to them.